People's Problems and Family Gatherings

Usually I deliberately write about the pleasant things in our life on the farm.  Occasionally I am more honest and share the less pleasant.  I really have always done this not just for consideration of readers’ feelings—but as a form of therapy for myself.  It makes me happier when I dwell on the good things in life and not life’s problems. 

Sitting in the area Social Security office today, I realized anew that probably everyone—or at least almost everyone—has problems. The office has problems because hours have been cut to 3:00 in the afternoon; we found this out when we phoned the other day. Finally today Katherine had a van driver to take her to an early doctor appointment and she would have time to go to the Social Security office before 3:00 to apply for a new card to replace her lost one.

But this morning, we found out that on Wednesdays, the office closes at 12 noon, which would make it impossible for her to get there by closing time.  So after a phone consultation, she frantically searched and secured all the necessary documents and her signature on an online application we printed out, and I was assigned to go to the office while she kept her important medical appointment.  She had a deadline today with another agency, and she needed the proof she had applied for a card. After I finally found the local office, I was greeted by a security guard who invited me in.

Then he pointed to a little machine, which I punched and it printed out my number 76 for my turn to see a worker. Every chair but one was filled after I sat down. I was very grateful that my daughter had not had to be let down from the van (a long operation) and then to maneuver her chair through the maze of doors to get inside that crowded waiting room.  Since the building was new, I know it had to be wheelchair accessible, but it certainly did not look like it would have been easy for her to enter one door and then turn to enter the second door.

 It was less than an hour to closing time, and in answer to my questioning, my neighbor whispered that the man on an end chair was to be next, and his number was 66.  Every ten minutes or so, someone was allowed to go up to the window, and new people kept coming in.  My question was if they would kick us all out at noon.  But they did not.  At precisely 12:00, the security guard locked the outside door, and I breathed a sigh of relief that evidently the worker at the window was going to see all of us who got there by noon.  There were people there older than me; one kept falling asleep as I wanted to do. There were several young people there too—one of whom had to hire a driver to bring her there and the driver needed to leave before the young woman’s long wait was up.  She only needed  to turn in the papers she had in her hand. (She did accomplish her goal just before the guard locked the door.  I was so relieved for her.) Most of my wait was in deadly silence, but at the end some of the newcomers were more talkative and started conversing.  As they shared with one another, I felt the pain that goes on in so many lives with family’s health issues, sharing custody following divorce, foster children caught in legal tangles.  I also felt their bravery in battling their problems. By the time I had my five minutes with a most pleasant worker, I left grateful for our caring government and for fellow humans struggling with life’s challenges.

We just had a four-day celebration of Easter at Woodsong starting with folks arriving Thursday evening when I had thought they’d arrive on Good Friday.  I had a casserole big enough for a crowd  waiting in the fridge to stick in the oven. Leslie had written she and Mike would be in Thursday, but then she changed the time because they were going to look at a rental house and could not come until Friday.  I thought everyone else had school on Thursday and would have to drive in on Friday. (I did not know they were all on spring break.)  So I planned to do the downstairs beds on Friday morning. Mary Ellen and Brian stay at their new place now when they are down, but all the cousins gather in here at the farm as the headquarters to plot and plan their various activities.  But since all the ones staying here (except for Leslie and Mike) arrived the night before, they had to fix their own beds. I was embarrassed. But that was an easy way out of a job! 

Mary Ellen and Jeannie had insisted they would carry in and prepare most of the Sunday feast.  I had already started the three layer traditional gelatin ribbon salad.  Easter morning, I only put  the ham in the oven and made simple scalloped potatoes as I do this one day a year,

A bunny rabbit cake became as must after little Mary Ellen started it so many years ago at Pondside Farm.  After she left home, I would hurriedly do one, but the girl cousins dyed the eggs and did the baking this year, and the cake was the prettiest we have ever had.  With their other desserts plus my left-over party desserts I dug out from the freezer, we had all the sweets we needed all weekend.  I realized just before serving time that I had forgotten that I always made fruit salad for Easter, so I hurriedly opened up cans and added fresh fruit and that was done. Gerald and I had some that was left over tonight as we watched the softball game in his office.

I started to blog while everyone was here, but I didn’t want to be away from the thick of family things that long.  It was never finished.  So here is what I wrote during the gathering:

Family gatherings come complete with crisis so often.  Usually not major crisis—just normal small life happenings.

For example, Lucky, one of the Eiler dogs was missing.  Cecelie reported he was not in the van where he likes to hang out and hides sometimes.  So kids were on the Gator out searching for him.  Solution:  Oh he was found in the van the second time Cecelie looked.  He had come out of hiding and was finally ready to come out and play with his dog cousins.

For example, after over 11 years with an 85 gallon water heater that rarely ran out of water no matter how many were here showering or doing college laundry, suddenly early in the morning before anyone had used the shower or the washing machine, we were out of hot water.  Hmmmm.  I took a very cold bath. 

For example, I fix three hamburgers for me, Gerald, and Trent who had been sleeping on the couch in the kids’ den. I thought the house was empty except for us three. Then suddenly at 12:30 noon, three more show up---they had all slept late behind bedroom doors—and only one had gone out to breakfast with adults.  They couldn’t have cared less, however, since they are content to find cereal when they wake up or to fix hot pockets in the downstairs microwave.  In fact, the third hamburger was never eaten.

For example, the ice maker acted up and no cubes are available without going inside the freezer unit itself and retrieving them by hand.  With a crowd—uggg!  So Gerald is unclogging it and the frozen up unit is filling up a kitchen sink and very slowly melting.  Very slowly.

For example, Jake, who Gerald has tried to break from chasing cars, evidently has not learned yet.  At least he is limping and making us nervous.

For example, Millie, our newest great grand dog, arrived with Leslie and Mike from Nashville, causing much excitement among all the cousins.  Everyone wanted to meet Millie.  Millie is less than thrilled with country life and does not understand why she is left outside.

Well, that was as far as I got on the blog while family was here.  But let me add one sweet thing that happened on Saturday.  The teens and young adults--I keep forgetting that two more have turned twenty and that we only have two teenagers left among the cousins-- had gone to one of their favorite eateries in Marion, and a lady came to their table and said she remembered being young and having fun together like they were and she handed them a $20 bill and said for them to pay it forward.  When I was being told the story, I was afraid the ending was going to be that someone was griping at their noise and their giggling.  Then I felt such a warm flow of joy that this woman had shared her pleasure with these kids.  I hope she had a wonderful Easter, and I like to think that years from now these seven, who were able to be here this year, will remember this story and pay forward happiness to tomorrow’s kids someplace somewhere in restaurants probably a long way from the farm.

Easter and its Aftermath

Throughout the weekend, it was not uncommon for a dozen or more pairs of shoes to be kicked off in the front hall and several at the backdoor. (I never taught my kids to take their shoes off on entering the house, although Gerald always conscientiously changed into house slippers when he came in from the hog barns. I would never insist or even suggest folks take off their shoes here at Woodsong, but, evidently, my kids have taught the grandkids this nice habit. I am sure it has saved a lot of dirt being tracked onto the carpet, so I am thankful.) Yet the row of shoes lined up always amuses me, and I had Gerald take a photo of it once for a souvenir.

Jeannie and Cecelie were already here, and Gerry had come in Thursday for the memorial service for his high school basketball coach. Others also started arriving on Thursday and were coming and going all weekend. Elijah came down from Illinois State on the train, and Jeannie and the kids all met him in Carbondale Friday evening.

Saturday was our oldest grandchild Tara’s birthday, and although we would have loved to have had the Archibalds and those three little great grandsons here, we were happy for them that they were able to have quality family time together all weekend in Georgia without the pressure of travel.

Saturday afternoon a large number of the family attended granddaughter Erin’s SIUC softball game against Indiana State. And it was fun to see the Salukis win. That was where we met up with Vickie and her mother, Geri Ann and her friend Bridgett who’d arrived at Shirley’s from Georgia. We came home for sandwiches, but I did fry the nice mess of fish for Trent and Sam that they caught that morning. I was grateful that our son-in-law David took them home and cleaned them for us while we were at the game.

Later Gerry, Vickie, and others fished and caught a huge catch, which Gerry cleaned and put in the freezer. As in childhood, Mary Ellen was his friend and cleaned up the electric knife he used, and she put it in the garage with hopes of eliminating the fish smell before he cut the ham with it on Sunday. No, it didn’t work, but as Gerry explained, that is now our fish-cleaning knife. Ha. It is back in the garage still airing out, but I suspect I need to shop for another knife for Thanksgiving.

Despite getting to bed late, everyone arose Sunday morning for church. Gerald and I were pleased to have grandsons Trent and Elijah in our young adult Sunday School class at Center. Elijah sang for us in the worship service, and I insisted he play and sing again at Woodsong after dinner so his mother, who had been at Katherine's could hear him.

We were all eager to meet Erin’s boyfriend on Sunday because we liked the story that he had once been her third grade boyfriend at Harrisburg before their family moved to Johnston City. Sometime or other the two had re-connected on Facebook and ran around with the same group before they started dating. I won’t tell them that when they took their walk around the lake that one grandchild could not resist using the binoculars we keep for bird watching.

Later in the afternoon several were out on the lake without a paddle in the old ocean-going fishing boat that Gerry’s used down in Mexico. When the motor died on them, they had an adventure. I was never quite sure how it all ended, but I did look out and saw a crew in the paddle boat towing the bigger boat in.

The Georgia gang left later Sunday afternoon to go a second Easter meal that evening at Gma Shirley’s house. This was with my daughter-in-law Vickie’s siblings and their families. Then they were back on the road Sunday night to Georgia to be there for early morning batting practice—just as Erin was going to be at early morning batting practice at SIUC.

Brian and Mary Ellen were up at their new place and some of us followed Mary there to see the wonderful vintage barn. She had to go back to central Illinois yet that night, but Brian and Gerald had business breakfast plans in Vienna yesterday morning to meet up with some guys who gather there every morning.

After people started leaving, the remaining cousins and I went to Southfork to Sam’s other grandparents’ home where he had had Easter dinner. Katherine and David were there, and she looked very pretty in a new dress, which the necklace Jeannie took her that morning matched perfectly. Sam’s Grandma Darlene offered us carrot cake, but we were still much too full to indulge. After the kids visited there awhile and went down to their lake, we headed back to Woodsong for their final time together. They had a long agenda of last minute plans to carry out, and I went to bed by l0 or 11.

I slept in yesterday. So did Sam and Cecelie. When I got up, there were only two pair of extra shoes at the front door and two at the back door. That is because there were only those two grandkids left at Woodsong out of the eight plus a couple of their friends who were here over the weekend.

Jeannie had left at 4 a.m. to get Elijah to an 8 o’clock at Bloomington. She was back to Woodsong yesterday afternoon, but she took a nap rather than a bike ride. Brianna had already woke up on her own and taken her brother Trent up to Springfield for his early class.

However, there are three pair of shoes plus one suitcase in the living room left behind accidently by grandkids. They were so busy playing their games, riding the Gator, and doing their last minute visiting long into their final night together that they didn’t plan their packing up too carefully for yesterday morning. But eventually everything will get back to whomever it belongs.

Later in the morning yesterday, I took Sam back home to Marion because his break was over today. Now only Cecelie, our youngest grandchild is here. That is because Elijah and his dad and his dad’s mother are coming through tomorrow night to pick Jeannie, Cec, and me to leave Thursday for Leslie’s big weekend at Belmont in Nashville.

We are still eating boiled eggs that the kids colored. And ham and other leftovers--although I did fix fresh pork chops yesterday for dinner lest we get too tired of the ham. I will devil the remaining eggs tomorrow unless I get ambitious and serve creamed eggs on toast, which I have frequently done with Easter eggs in past years.
My friend Linda came this morning for a couple of hours and ran the vacuum for me. The plunger has been moved from the upstairs bathroom back to the downstairs one, where it was needed yesterday morning. A load of towels and a couple other loads of laundry have been done. Mary Ellen and I did most of the post-dinner clean up on Sunday, and I finished washing a couple of soaking pans yesterday.

Jeannie, Cecelie, and I were even able to run into Marion this morning and shop for vintage hats at Salvation Army for the bridal tea on Saturday. We lunched at Jasone’s so Jeannie could get acquainted with Marion’s newest bed and breakfast in case guests need it in June. I knew Jeannie would love this marvelous old house with lunch room tables covered with lace and where delightful fresh food is served.

I ran by Katherine’s after lunch, and Jeannie went on to do some errands for herself and for me in Carbondale. She had time for her bike ride this afternoon. Gerald and I watched the Georgia ball game against University of South Carolina on his computer and then the slide show of all the photos he took of the fifteen here for Easter dinner. We are winding down from all the fun and excitement.

An Easter to Remember

A co-worker with the preschoolers yesterday during the morning worship service asked me how many were at our house. I went blank and realized I had no idea. People were coming and going, so I really could not keep up with them.

Since Tara had phoned Thursday night that they and the three little boys would be leaving Aurora soon and would arrive around 2 a.m., I decided to follow her instructions to go on to bed and not wait up. I was almost in bed shortly after midnight and heard people in the house and was confused since I knew the Archibalds could not have gotten here that quickly. When I saw the edge of a blond head, I thought maybe Leslie had arrived, but it was Brianna and also Trent. Their dad had brought down their new camper and was sleeping in it outside although it was not completely set up yet.

When I woke up the next morning, not only were the Archibalds there, but Vickie and Geri Ann had also arrived and had picked up Leslie at Nashville. Jeannie, Elijah, and Cecelie had come in also around 3 a.m. Everyone has to take responsibility to find a couch and linens when the bedrooms ran out.

Jeannie although sleepy was ready to go biking if the weather had cooperated. She and Leslie went shopping instead. Afterwards, they ran by to pick up Sam, who wanted to get out here with the other cousins, and David had Leslie bring Sam to the farm in David’s car so the teens had an extra car.

There was a softball double header on Friday at Southern Illinois University Carbondale, so several were headed over there. Jeannie went with her dad, and after the game, she helped him finish up the last-minute grocery shopping for me. When the teenagers took off for the Dairy Queen in Marion, little Aidan who had stayed behind just to play with them, might have been upset. But Leslie put aside her home-work book and entertained him so well that he did not miss them. After all, he had an exclusive date with a beautiful blond giving him all her attention.

After rain cancelled the Saturday noon game, two groups had left to shop and/or meet other relatives, and I realized as we sat down for lunch that there were nine of us at a table that only sits eight. Gerald went downstairs to listen to Georgia’s game at Fayetteville, Arkansas. That game series was keeping Gerry away from Woodsong, and a track meet in Freeport prevented Rick from being able to join us.

Brian had gone back to Springfield area on Friday, and he and Mary Ellen came down late that night travelling through terrible storms—Brian with a trailer of farm equipment behind his pickup and Mary following in their car. (The plan was for Brian to plant this week and to stay down until he finished, but the continuing storms made that impossible.)

Because everyone had to leave Sunday afternoon to get back to school and work the next morning, Gma Shirley (Vickie’s mother and that set of grandkids’ other grandmother) was kind enough to have the Johnson family Easter celebration on Saturday night.

It was a full weekend and lots of fun and with some scary moments as well. We thought one of the visiting dogs had run off after two stray dogs in the storm when searches could not find her--actually she had crawled back in her bed after hiding from us. Aidan woke up with pain sobbing on Saturday night and told his mother his jaw hurt. Very bad. This is a child with a very high pain tolerance and who never complains even when seriously hurt. It was after midnight when Tara drove to town to get Tylenol for him and much later when he finally got back to sleep. By the next morning, he was no longer in pain, and we all relaxed and assumed it was perhaps a tooth coming in.

Gerald was kept busy giving Maddux tractor and boat rides. Payton, who is in a clinging-to-his-parents phase, made Gerald’s holiday by putting out his arms and going outside with him and riding the tractor also. Although just not quite five, Aidan is already blending in with the older teen cousins, and they are great to include him in their activities. The teenagers died the eggs and decorated the Easter bunny cake this year. I’d boiled extra eggs to make deviled ones since I know Erin especially likes them. Jeannie made those eggs for us Sunday morning before church. Leslie and Elijah sang for our village church’s morning service although none of us made it to the sunrise service. Somehow Mary Ellen and Brian arrived home from church before the rest of us and turned down the oven and saved the ham, dressing, and scalloped potatoes before they burned. Mary Ellen’s made the green bean casserole and fixed her store-bought corn casserole (not as good as her own) and the mac and cheese casserole for the kids (that we all liked) in the oven in the camper.

I think by now you understand why I did not know how many were at our house. But there were twenty-one for Easter dinner. Vickie and Geri Ann had taken Vickie’s mother and gone to her brothers’ church at Stonefort, so she brought Gma Shirley to our house to extend their visit with her just a bit. Erin, of course, had been coming and going after the Saturday game was cancelled and she had Easter surprises for her three nephews. David and Katherine were finally able to come out despite the rainy weather, which of course made placing her in the van more difficult, and despite a cancellation of an aide to help that morning. She and Shirley are special friends and were happy to be together. We were able to sing “Happy Birthday” to Katherine since her birthday is tomorrow. They were on their way to another family dinner with David’s family, so Elijah drove their car loaned to the teens back to the Cedar house in town as the Eilers left for Freeport.

We won’t forget this weekend, but neither will the many in our river region called “The Land Between the Rivers.” Although our lake has never been higher and is running steadily out the emergency overflow pipe, we are on a hill and have no danger of the house ever flooding. Yesterday was very frightening, however, for many in the Ohio and Mississippi River bottoms as the rivers rose. Some highways are closed, and the flooding has started. I am praying that levees don’t break. I was supposed to tell the story of the Trail of Tears to school children this week at the Forest Service Stewardship Week in the Dixon Springs area. This is an outdoor event. The first two days have been called off, and I expect Thursday and Friday will be also. Ten inches of rain down there in seven days has the ground saturated and some areas closed, and heavier rains are predicted.

Gerald had an eye appointment this morning, but I was able to go to a neighbor’s funeral held in Carterville. We have known this farmer’s four sons ever since we moved here, and then watched as these boys grew up and married. Now we know most or the grandchildren and some of the great grandchildren. His wife Mary died a year ago after 64 years of marriage. It was raining again as we left the funeral home. Although a beautiful sunshiny day for a funeral is helpful, I always think that nature is weeping with a family when the rains come.

After the funeral, family and friend were going back to the G. B. Morris home for a final dinner there in a now empty house filled with memories and the vibrations of years of family gatherings. A house where grandchildren and visiting neighbors were always welcome. For the past decade, the sons and their wives have kept careful watch and finally a constant vigil as the two parents grew progressively weaker and incapacitated with numerous serious health problems.

Three sons live in houses on land on the farm and one son lives in nearby Marion. Often twenty-four seven care was needed, and these families supplied it by taking turns when hired help was not available and by coordinating and cooperating with the outside help when it was. The sons’ wives have had care responsibilities with their own families during all their time as well. It has been a challenging and demanding responsibility for the four couples as they have lived through their own health problems and surgeries and with their own growing families.

As someone from down the road a ways and only vaguely aware of all the illnesses, problems, and stress they have endured, I am inspired by their faithfulness in dealing with the pain and suffering even as they rejoiced over all the good things and the good example that their father and mother provided them.

Blossoms for the Celebration

Pink blossoming tulip trees and bright yellow forsythia join the earliest spring flowers to make yards in town ready for the weekend celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. The full moon lights the sky, and the last two days have been delightfully warm with Spring’s promise. Soon we’ll have my favorite red buds decorating the countryside, and as the red buds’ blossoms fade, the dog wood trees will take over with white blossoms.

Leslie just arrived from Belmont, and the washer and dryer in my office/laundry room is already in motion. I like it that our college grandkids can do their laundry here and, thus, arrive sooner—just as our kids did more than a couple of decades ago when they’d come over from a Carbondale dorm for supper and save quarters at the same time.

When we moved here over eight years ago, the couple who bought our other house at the hog farm did not want our old washer and drier, so we moved them and stuck them in the garage. The new washer and dryer wasn’t hooked up for several months. By that time, I was in the habit of doing our laundry in the garage. It was right by the kitchen and much handier than this downstairs laundry. The builder insisted I put a laundry shoot from an upstairs bathroom down to this room, but I keep in covered for fear a little one might find it and explore where that hole goes. I do use this laundry room for all the downstairs linens and towels, and it is very convenient for this occasional use. I pulled the last sheets out of the dryer after Les arrived.

This winter we finally replaced the garage washer and dryer because they were in poor shape, and we figured the energy saving would be worth it instead of letting them completely break down. The last repair on them didn’t help them at all in my opinion, and it was a task for Gerald and our neighbor Scott to load them in his truck and take them to Harrisburg. I never thought about needing two sets of appliances, but it has turned out to be a very good thing. Twice we have had families living with us briefly during remodeling/schooling, and our frequent weekend guests like knowing there is a washer-dryer awaiting them at our house.

Tomorrow Gerald’s sister Ernestine is arriving in St. Louis escaping the snow in Rock Springs, Wyoming, for our warm spring weather. She is here for her high school reunion; and best of all, her daughter Leah is with her bringing her baby girl Emmy that we are all eager to meet. We had lunch with our niece Vicki yesterday so Gerald could put a car seat in Vicki’s car for Emmy.

Vicki is picking them up at the St. Louis air port and has a room all ready for them at her parents’ farm home down in the Mississippi bottoms, where Ernestine attended Shawnee High School. The Saturday night reunion will be at Fox’s Hollow, a favorite community gathering place for fish on the weekend owned and operated by a farmer nicknamed Foxy. I think they will be here Friday night and for Easter, but I am not really sure how this will all work out until the reunion is over.

At one time, we had three Vickie/Vicki Glascos in our extended family and at that time all three lived in this area, so sometimes doctors’ offices had mix-ups. It helped when Vicki Sue married Ernie and became Vicki Escue. We also have a son-in-law named Brian and a grandson-in-law named Bryan. At least the Bryan/Brian have different last names. More recently we realized that our newest great grandson Payton has the same name as one of Emmy's big sisters--Peyton and Kennedy.

The baby bed will be ready for Emmy as soon as Gerald moves it across the hall to the larger bedroom. (This is Mary Ellen’s baby bed that we traveled to Michigan and brought back with a truck load of other stuff when her nephew Samuel was born. After he went into his youth bed, the baby bed came to Woodsong, where it has had good use ever since.) Maddux’s high chair is still in the dining room from Christmas, so Emmy can use that too. (This high chair is one of two identical ones bought in 1993 when we had two grandsons born at the same time. One was passed on to Cecelie and ended up donated up there when Cecelie outgrew it.)

Leslie’s family is coming down from northern Illinois and will arrive tomorrow. Our daughter-in-law Vickie and granddaughter Geri Ann are coming through on their way to Tara and Bryan’s family at Aurora in northern Illinois. Gerry and Erin will have Saturday games and won’t be able to make the holiday. Mary Ellen and Brian’s family are going to the Villages in Florida to celebrate with Brian’s mother.

All the blossoms should make everyone’s trips pleasant. I wish the people in Rhode Island and Haiti and Chile and Iraq and Afghanistan had pleasant and peaceful conditions.